


Golden Retriever

by Natural_Log



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Log/pseuds/Natural_Log
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean takes a walk to clear his head and get some peace of mind. Cas shows up with what he thinks is good news for Dean. But he has utterly misinterpreted what the hunter really wants. Dean clears that right up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden Retriever

**Author's Note:**

> This is (pretty obviously) my first submission to AO3. It's also my first Destiel and my first venture into the Supernatural fandom. 
> 
> It's random fluff that I thought about while suffering a fever, so please excuse any crappyness therein. 
> 
> Maybe a little bit of spoilers for Castiel plot in Season 8 if you really think about it. But not much. Also before the bat cave.

  

 

It’s a nice day, and it’s been weeks since Dean had time to himself to just rest, so he kicks the motel door closed behind him and stuffs his hands into his coat pockets before taking off down the street. He knows where he wants to end up, but he doesn’t know how to get there, and damn if that isn’t the story of his life. But this is simple.

He wants to sit at a park. And if there’s one thing Dean knows it’s that every town has a little hideaway for nature.

So he stalks down the street, breathing the crisp afternoon air of late winter. The sky is blue, the clouds are white, and it’s a hell of a lot prettier sight than humanity scurrying around down here so he watches the scenery until he runs out of town.

And sure enough, there’s a park. It’s got a small jungle gym, some swings, but the rest is open grassy fields lined with trees and a few benches. The weather isn’t nice enough for it to be full of people, but there are a few bundled up kids playing. So Dean picks a bench a bit away from them and leans his head back, basking in nothing.

After a few minutes he nearly dozes off, but the sound of a child shrieking brings him roaring back to reality. They are still just playing, the monsters are still imaginary, and Dean waits as his pulse slows again.

“Do you want children, Dean?”

Dean jerks, foot kicking a rock that skitters into the grass. Cas watches the rock until it stops then looks up at the kids again. He’s frowning, but more from confusion than anything.

“Cas, you’re…” Dean doesn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting the angel; he hasn’t decided what to do about….

About the fact that Sam thinks he’s being commanded again, but this time Cas doesn’t know it. Someone is pulling his strings without his permission. That’s something that Dean doesn’t like. He can’t fight it if he can’t see it.

Cas doesn’t say anything, just sits there next to Dean, hands clasped loosely between his spread legs, knee brushing Deans.

_“Could you do it?” Sam had asked him. “Could you kill your angel?”_

Dean clears his throat, frowning at his shoes. “I didn’t know if we would see you again man. What happened?”

“I went to heaven. I came back. And now I’m curious.” He finally turns to Dean, eyes shadowed. “Do you want children?”

“That’s kind of personal Cas,” Dean starts, but smiles, “but there’s no such thing as too personal with you, is there.”

He isn’t one to talk excessively, so Dean tries to think about how to say what he wants. Cas waits. Birds chirp. Children play.

“I didn’t at first.”

Cas tilts his head.

“I mean, the way we were raised. Me and Sam.” He doesn’t say Sammy, because it’s true. They are done being raised. They’re grown. Sam is who he is and Dean can’t help shape him anymore, as much as that irks him. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, let alone a kid. And if I had one, it sure wouldn’t be off limits to the supernatural.”

“But?” Cas supplies. Of course he would catch the subtle not-ending with Deans tone.

“But then with Lisa, when I thought for a few moments that I had a kid, and he was raised totally ok. He didn’t inherit-“ he stops, swallows, “he hadn’t gotten mixed up with all of this.” He gestures between himself and Cas, and the angel looks at him without emotion. “Yeah, in the end he wasn’t mine, but that just made it more obvious that I did want a kid. I wanted a kid who likes rock and isn’t afraid of guns and can keep their head when it counts. I want it more than… wanted it more than anything.”

“You want to make sure there is always a Winchester to watch out for others.” Cas supplies.

Dean stops. He didn’t realize it until Cas said it. “Yeah… yeah I do. But at the same time I can’t saddle a kid with that. I couldn’t saddle a teen with that. Hell, I couldn’t snatch a guy off the street and hand him the load. It just isn’t right.”

Cas leans back. Dean has no idea what Cas wants from him right now, but he looks troubled so Dean figures he’ll play along until he signals something. “Dean, you are worth every angel that has died for you. Do you understand?”

Dean thinks about Sammandriel and disagrees, but doesn’t say it. He’s not sure what Cas would do.

“You don’t deserve the load either, Dean.”

They sit in silence for a while. Dean itches to know what this is all about, but he doesn’t want to push Cas away, not any further than he already is. It’s starting to get dark, and parents are gathering up their kids for dinner. Pretty soon it’s just Cas and Dean, and a couple walking their dog.

“I made a deal.”

Dean sits up. “Damn it Cas, after all of the deals we’ve made with devils you just-“

“With heaven, Dean.”

The dog barks and chases after a squirrel, leaving the couple behind on the walkway. Dean frowns. “Why do I feel like I’m not going to like where this is going? At all?”

“I did it for you, Dean. So you could have children. So you could grow old and enjoy life and not worry that demons are around every corner.”

“I’m still not liking this…”

“Don’t worry, Dean.” Cas takes Deans hand in both of his. Dean flinches but lets him. “I will watch over the world for you. You can go be with Lisa, or whoever you want.”

Dean continues to stare angrily into Cas’ eyes, even as Cas strokes his wrist. “Cas, you are an idiot.”

Cas frowns. “Dean, let me explain.”

“This better be very good or else we are going to have words you won’t like.”

Cas stands, pulling Dean beside him. He grips Deans hand tightly and looks down. “You are my charge. I pulled you from hell. I was disgraced because I cared for you too much. I was supposed to serve mankind. But you kept doing things for me instead. It threw off the balance.”

Dean pulls his hand away and grabs Cas’ shoulder. “Because you are my friend, Cas. I owe you, you owe me, that’s what friendship is.”

“But you gave up Lisa.”

That catches Dean off guard. “I gave up… I let Lisa go because it wasn’t safe for her anymore. You know that Cas.”

“You gave up that life for one with Sam. With demons and angels and chaos. And me. I can understand why you would drop everything for your brother; you have both proven time after time that you would die for each other. But yet you do the same for me, and I am not your brother. You risk your life on my word, and my word is not very reliable as of late.”

“Cas, you aren’t seeing this right-“

“I broke free of Naomi. She was the one pulling my strings as Sam said. In return for your freedom, I gave mine up again. _You_ aren’t seeing this right Dean, not anymore.” Cas gave Dean a sad smile. “I cannot let you keep sacrificing for me. That isn’t how it was supposed to be. You are free now. You don’t owe me anything. You can be with your brother and be human and happy. As you should.”

“And what,” Dean seethed, “makes you think I’m just going to sit back and be ok with this? You just said yourself I would do anything for you, but you think I’ll let you lay down on the wire? Again? For _me_?”

“You are the righteous man Dean, and you did your duty. You are done.”

“And when will you be done, Cas?” Deans voice almost choked, but he continued glaring. “When are you done serving mankind and heaven? When will you have paid enough?”

Cas sighed, head drooping. “The fact that you care about an angel so much means we have been in too much contact. It is clear to me that this is the right choice. I only wish you could see this as I do.”

They both paused as the two men with a dog walked by, laughing and holding hands. Dean didn’t look, but Cas smiled after them.

“How do you see this as a good thing, Cas? Do you really not like being around us?”

“Dean, you can have everything now. You won’t have to pick between Sam and a family. You both can have everything. Everything you want. A child. A dog. A house. A lawn to mow.”

Dean turned away, watched as the couple finally left the park. “What about my best friend?”

“Sam will be with you-“

“God you are such an idiot Cas!” Dean whirled back, gripping the angel’s collar. “You say I can have everything but it’s not worth it without my dumbass angel sitting on my shoulder asking why people have spinning rims!”

“I still don’t understand the function of-“

Dean laughed. Threw back his head and shook the birds from a nearby tree with the depth of it. Cas watched his throat, watched the skin stretch into lines, the glint of his white teeth in the twilight. A nearby lamp came on; too far to fully light their bench but Dean could still see Cas’ confused face.

“I’ve got everything I need as long as I can still laugh, Cas.” He was still holding the angels collar, so he let go.

“But you said you wanted children, Dean. You can’t have those with me and Sam.”

Dean tried not to snort laughter. This was a serious moment, he shouldn’t be laughing. “I said I wanted kids, and I did. But I had one for a year and I realized that while I really like kids, I don’t mind if the only thing I raise from a babe is a golden retriever.”

Cas’ eyebrows nearly met and he thought for a serious moment. “Am…” he smiled slightly, “am I a golden retriever? Is that a joke Dean?”

This time Dean cracked a grin. “It is now. You retrieve stuff all the time, don’t you?”

Cas smiled, but then paused. “Dean… if I don’t return to serve Naomi I’m not sure-“

“She will have to go through me.”

It really was dark now, and Sam was probably wondering where he was. But Cas still looked worried and confused.

“You know,” Dean slung an arm around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him into a slow walk, “you’re always on my case about how I don’t know my own worth. But the real question is, do you know how important you are?”

“I know how much you and Sam rely on my vast knowledge and power to keep humanity safe, yes.”

“I meant-“

“But you,” Cas stopped and Dean let his arm fall, “I’m not sure where I stand before you Dean. I make you laugh, you miss me when I am gone, you dream of my face-“

“What are you-“

Cas’ hand on his jaw stopped Dean cold. “But were I to kiss you in the human way, you would likely hate me.”

The street light was directly behind Dean, giving him a perfect view of Cas’ eyes, bright blue and concerned. This was one of those moments when he wished he listened to Sams sappy TV shows. He had no idea what to say, what he _wanted_ to say.

Settle for the truth, he figured.

“I could never hate you Cas. Not even after you played God. I mean,” he shrugged, “you’re kind of new at all of this so I give you freebies.”

“Freebies?” Cas repeats. He’s rather close to Dean now, close enough that Dean can smell his body wash, can count his eyelashes.

“Uh, you know, I forgive you in advance sort of things.”

His hand stays on Deans face as Cas considers this, thumb running along his cheekbone. Dean leans into the warmth, realizes how cold it’s gotten.

“Can I use a freebie now Dean?”

Cas’ voice is barely above a whisper, his eyes are wide and staring at Deans lips, and Dean wonders how they got here for a moment. How they went from talking about kids to the fact that Dean is leaning towards Cas.

Whose lips are chapped but warm, and Dean presses his own against them more solidly. Stupid angel. Doesn’t know about chap stick yet. Should probably buy him a bright pink one to make Sam upset. Then maybe get him- oh.

Cas darts his tongue into Deans mouth, cool and fast it’s there and gone. Dean starts, grabs Cas’ arms and pulls him closer, chasing into the angels mouth with his own tongue. Cas slides his arm around Deans neck and leans into him, angling his mouth against the hunters and making a small noise.

Dean likes the noise. Dean likes this, he realizes suddenly, he likes the angel in his arms, not fleeting around, coming and going who knows where. He’s safe from heaven and hell right here, where Dean can keep his eyes on him.

Cas nibbles on Deans lower lip and Dean pulls back with a gasp. Cas’ eyes are huge, mouth slightly parted. “Sorry, I’m sorry Dean, I read things on your internet and I’ve been thinking about trying them and-“

“Idjit.” Dean grumbles. Cas’ face falls, but Dean grips his chin and kisses him again. “I like it. I like _you,_ so stop running off.”

“I…” Cas pauses, “It won’t be safe, Dean. It will never be safe. Not even I can keep us safe from heaven.”

“Story of my life Cas. I’m used to it. And you make me laugh when nobody else can. It’s worth it.” Cas lights up visibly, grin so big it makes Dean chuckle. “Damn, you are a puppy. Give you a bit of attention and your tail wags like mad.”

“I don’t understand, Dean I don’t have a tail to wag.”

Dean turns the angel around, pats the back of his coat where a tail would be. “Right you are, no tail.”

“I told you. Why would a human have a tail, that’s just-“

Dean kisses him again, smiling.

“You were wrong Dean.”

“Yeah, I know, it was a joke, of course you don’t have a tail.”

“No, before. You said we would have words I wouldn’t like. I like most of your words.”

Dean chuckles and starts walking through the park, heading back to the hotel. “Even idiot?”

Cas keeps up easily, purses his lips and glances at Dean sideways. “I won’t be an idiot if you teach me. But yes, even idiot. Because you smile when you say it usually.”

“Alright! Enough chick flick. Let’s go get some burgers or something before I grow a vagina.”

“That would make intercourse more-“

“Cas!”

“I do love burgers, Dean.”

Dean thinks about holding Cas’ hand but decides against it. “Man after my own heart.”

Cas smiles. “Yes, I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also I have no idea how to get people to beta things. Nor has anyone edited my things. And I am terrible at naming fics. Also summaries are hard. Actually I just suck at writing things for other people so.... yeah. 
> 
> Just gonna go back to my beer now.


End file.
